25 abr. 2012

Roboquad

- J'ai toujours cru que cette araignée était un personnage de "La guerre des étoiles", belle preuve de mon hermétisme en orbite sur la planète Spielberg. La vérité gravée au fond du moule en plastique, révélée sous la loupe de mon couteau suisse, m'apprend qu'il s'agit d'une reproduction à taille réduite d'un robot Wowwee offert par Mc Donald's en 2007. Le son est fantastique, pour fabriquer le meilleur doorag à ressort, voici.

- Anduve buscando este juguete MacDo por el cyber espacio sin éxito. Su microchip acoplado a un muelle rebota por los espejos de la bola disco en la galaxia de mis conciertos. Aquí cuelgo el retrato del Roboquad para ilustrar la búsquedada del próximo naturalista melómano seducido por su hilo musical.
 - I always say, this spider is the coolest toy to build a doorag. The chip has a very small square resistance and if you succeed to bend it, you will have the best instrument to record a hit. I swear, it's true as a Tiny Tim falsetto.

20 abr. 2012

Kim Fowley in the soup

- Kim Fowley was promoting himself in Madrid last week. LCDD kindly supported his raving with noise. From the act we learned to spoil every media hype, like seasoning a Nettle Soup with a Trip.
- Mister Bratto sacó esta foto de Felipe con Kim Fowley cuando promocionaba el manual Nettle Soup (cook yourself a doorag) en el Matadero.- Les orties piquent sur la peau, pas dans la soupe. Voici Kim Fowley, le freak du showbiz qui fait de la pub pour la "Soupe d'Ortie", le manuel de construction des Doorags. Les Chevaux De Düsseldorf ont payé le prix.

3 abr. 2012

LCDD 3º LP

- Tiercé placé gagnant pour le troisième album des Chevaux de Düsseldorf. quinze savoureux radis rouges cultivés par LCDD pour votre centrifugeuse à laitue. De la musique sans engrais artificiels, ni ordinateur, toute bricolée à le pile du "circuit bending". Des morceaux muets d'instruments ordinaires, très lointainement inspirés et librement influencés, comme le prouve les deux versions pour fétichiste de la cravache, des oeillères et superstitieux du sabot ferré; Mister Shoji, du duo Madrilène Single et l' autre d'une référence locale de Düsseldorf. C'est parce que vous avez reconnu les sons qu'ils ont planté dans leur potager que vous avez gagnez aux courses. Alors c'est le moment d'allonger l'avoine. Bertoyas, l'auteur Ducon, dessine la plus jolie pochette de sa carrière à 33 tours. LCDD avait présenté leur premier disque au Japon, le second aux States et celui ci au Mexique. Par bonheur ils seront de passage sous le pavé de Paris bientôt. Le départ est lancé, même si la course est gagné d'avance grâce au copinage de Bimbo Tower avec le label Espagnol Alehop! Tournez manège...
-Discussing about LCDD 3rd LP "Look man, I'm not in this business in the spirit of some kid who hides in am alley, sticks his feet out and trips the first person who walks by, then laughs his ass off when they fall on their face. Everything connected with this album is wrong. In the first place, it's absolutely horrible, one of the worst monstrosities ever released. Secondly, the group who recorded it are just a front for studio musicians; I know this for a fact. You can't tell me that the same group that recorded 'Switch Shit Suite' or whatever the name of that thing was, whatever it was it was a beautiful piece of work―pretentious, overarranged, overproduced, verbose, egotistical and gauche, but beautiful nonetheless―the glockenspiel player was wailing his ass off for twenty-seven minutes―but you can't tell me that that and this pile of crap were done by the same people. This probably is the band... good riddance. Another thing is that they're on a terrible label. Who ever heard of Alehop! Records? What kind of promotion and publicity do they get? Nada! How many records do they release a year? Who the fuck knows? The last decent act they had was Fela Borbone & su Mierdofón and that was four years ago. This album, I guarantee, will sell no copies. Just look at the cover: a rusty wheelbarrow, the body of an old Ford with no wheels or engine, and a cottonwood tree in the background. The sun has almost gone down and it's so dark you can hardly see a fuckin' thing. So the title's up their in oxblood-colored letters. Oxblood! And now you come to me and you say we gotta print a review of this album in Rolling Stone because it's the only one of its kind and if people don't get it now they may never have a chance again. And you send this review comparing it to Louis & Bebe Barron, Tomutonttu, Single, Kaseo & his 14 Pikaremin orchestra, Tom Dissevelt and Parmegiani! All so people will buy it when there's no earthly reason why anybody interested in music should. Send the review to Creem. Make it the album of the year. Jesus Christ, I used to have some respect for you guys. Now I think you must all be either losing your minds or turning against rock 'n' roll. It's getting to where Creem won't even cover an album unless it's either free jazz or so fucking metallic, mediocre and noise-oriented that you'd do as well to stick your ear over a garbage disposal or a buzzsaw. Remember, man: the public ain't buyin' it. No response at all." Lester Bangs.